I'm writing this time to share an amazing experience I am going through right now...This year I made the choice to focus on love and in the beginning of this year, it was one of the hardest things I had to do, love my life being here in boring old Kansas when I wanted to be in a place full of oceans and mountains, love myself when I desired to be happy when I'd travel the world, love my job when I'd said I'd be happy when I'd be my own boss and love where I am right now....when I'd say I would be happy until I'd reach all those goals....I tried it, even if it was forced in the beginning and things IMMEDIATELY began to change.....in one week, I became an online fitness coach, I had a fitness partner at the gym I've been working out alone at form almost 2 years, at my 8-5 job things were becoming super, quiet and easy and other teams in the company wanted to recruit me to be in their team, the international team aka the travel team. 3 weeks later I lost 10lbs in easy and healthy way and 2 weeks later I helped one of my high schools best friend lose 12lbs before she went to Mexico to visit her family after almost a decade of not going and wanted to make a good impression with her family there.
Loving your life and yourself is not easy when you have ingrained habits in your brain to not like yourself and your life until you get what you wish for....and for some reason I slipped away...it was so easy and I couldn't even tell, the mind is so sneaky and a great actor....for the last 2 weeks I stopped loving myself and again I started to live in the future and past. Why am I here? Why am I in a job where I am not happy with people that I don't connect with? oh boy...this turned into a snowball and before you I knew it, I was again complaining, being a victim and blaming the outside for what's going on inside me.
These two last weeks felt like MONTHS and I again I turned to what had worked not too long ago, thinking that maybe all the good things that had happened were a coincidence or good luck...but Yesterday....I started self love again.....loving my life, my job, who I am and what I do...and Yesterday....MAGIC happened......My not too old workout partner was happy to see me at the gym and wanted to workout with me like before, at work the co-workers that I didn't connect with left me alone, at my conversation with my principal I had the guts to tell her I wanted a different position and by the discrete smile on her face it seemed like she was waiting for me to say this, after work I bumped into 3 great friends which I had not seen in months in just a 30 minute span.....and all of this happened Yesterday...in one day...
TODAY...I practiced self love and just LOVE again....when I woke up, at work, at the gym and right now that I am studying at a coffee shop near my house. At work I was the only one from my team that showed up (which never happens) and it was the most peaceful and relaxing day of work because of it, at the gym I lifted weights that I didn't think I was capable of since I stopped doing weightlifting for 2 years, and after work on my study time I met a pretty amazing person who I connected with very easily and was in the Olympics for Track and Field two times in a row...and now he runs 100 mile races. You know...I know meet these kinds of amazing people during my travels.....where I think the magic is....but you know what...the magic is INSIDE OF US.
Do I still want to live outside of Kansas? Yes I do. Do I want to travel the world still? of course it's my right to be free and know every part of my home I call earth. But one simple phrase changed how I see life and how I will life the rest of my life....I LOVE.....
Love yourself, your life, your job, your family and LOVE will bring the magic out of everything and everyone....but it's work you have to do first then the magic happens, not the other way around.